Evening, I will be concise:
over the course of 2 years I have contacted at least 40/45 chamber ensembles, mostly specializing in Baroque period music; of these (prefacing that I only asked if I could send them some scores, one ready, the others to be defined, in order to verify if they would be to their liking, and if in a positive case I could perform and record them)
only 3 responded to me. Of those, I think 2 ensembles are still available but I (really) don't have availability at the moment, even though they asked for a derisory amount for 2 rehearsals and the recording; another had some problems and a recording session was cancelled in which a piece would have been (probably, from what the founder told me) recorded; with the 3rd I had an argument because after asking for their availability and making sure of the exact day on which I could go to them (as I had been told) without disturbing them between one rehearsal and another, and (as it happens, if I hadn't asked, I would have gone on the wrong day, which they themselves had given me as a possibility for a 10-minute rehearsal, which I saw as gold), I was told that they had no time to waste, that responding to 4 emails in 4/5 months (not hours) was too much of a disturbance, and that I was making it too difficult. So I ask myself, if one asks for preventive information precisely so as not to bother people (knowing that they are busy) and the same people give you the wrong "trial" day (on which I would have certainly taken a hit), and despite asking for confirmation (for them, not for me, let it be clear) I was called a nuisance (practically on the same level as someone who would show up at their door without asking and with the presumption of receiving a favor, and this is absurd, because in theory we are there) even though I was not in the wrong, who is exaggerating, me?
I get to the point: do you know (but I don't mean recommendations or things like that, because I am not looking for them, I don't want them, I am not interested in them, I don't share them, they are not right things, and I don't deserve them) any chamber ensembles, with an instrumentation that in some cases also includes a harpsichordist, to whom I could send scores, and after a prior viewing, perhaps rehearse (if they want to) some pieces and perhaps record them?
I am "outside" the circle, and that's fine (even if years ago a pianist told me "if you had been my classmate I would have taken a look, but it's out of the question like this" regarding the request to see something, not necessarily, so I can't help but think that the more polite one is, the more one loses, although I certainly won't change my tone and become difficult for people like that), but it seems to me (commitments permitting) exaggerated even not to respond to an email in which information is requested; after all, I have always done so (and before, 2 years ago, I was doing slightly better), specifying that I certainly did not expect anything for free, but many [emails] fell into a void—skepticism, pride, bad faith—what should I think?
I could understand indifference (a feeling I sparked in someone years ago) which is perhaps worse than doing bad things, but when one hasn't even seen what is being proposed, it seems quite strange to me; could it be fate?
Thank you, and evening.