Your question particularly strikes me. A few years ago, I too wondered about many things regarding musical language, and after a few years I can say that one must discover the origins of what they call tonal music, tonality, atonality, etc.
Read the debates on dodecaphony, the discussions related to crude economic affairs... regarding music of a religious character and the like, the pale fire of
"neo-romantics", etc..
Since your question seems profound, I do not want to dwell too much on tracing the various cultural paths that have gradually made musical language increasingly abstract and, in my opinion, unaffectionate.
One must go to the roots of things without fear. This can be a first step toward separating oneself, first and foremost, from the ideologies that oppress musical expression. To discover that the problem lies not primarily in the music but in the musician in relation to the know-how of music and also when they teach it.
Debussy's old saying that: masterpieces generate rules, but masterpieces are not generated by rules, finds me increasingly in agreement, deeply in agreement.
One must discover why tonality was "fixed" and the reason for its origin beyond sociological reasons, which have a very relative meaning and provide no answer regarding the composer's personal creativity. Finally, to discover that the origin of musical language (which they have always denied as a true language in its own right) has a specific origin in the life of every human being, and this origin concerns the first year of life; it is a pre-verbal language.
But as you can see, the discussion becomes increasingly complex, and a space like this, even if generously granted to us, would not be enough to exhaust an entire discourse concerning the freedom of the artist once they are skilled at making music.