Hello Everyone

biopresto wrote:

Question: my children like music and have a very good ear, but I often find myself almost forcing them to study the piano.

In your opinion, should I let them be and resign myself even to an eventual educational defeat?

I don't think so; I think that at their age if I let them do as they please, they would spend the whole day in front of the TV without even doing their homework.

I have set myself the goal of insisting until middle school, and then if they want to stop, they will stop, or they will move on to some other instrument (since there is no shortage of them at home). What do you think?

It is difficult to give a suggestion; constraints are never pleasant... even if made with the best intentions.

Make them listen to lots of good music, this could be a stimulus... even recordings of what you think they might already be able to play; sometimes thinking about playing something with your own hands that you hear on the "record" helps immensely.

Welcome.

For your children... what do they think about it? How are they experiencing it?

I agree with listening. But no forcing. In fact, one should understand, as our friend Frank rightly says, how they experience it and what they think about it. Welcome among us

Hello, welcome among us.

For children: in my opinion, forcing can even generate the opposite effect.

Welcome among us.

I believe that "forcing" a child in any field produces the opposite effect.

Musiс is an infinite good for all of us, big and small.

I thank you for the comments.

Perhaps I expressed myself too briefly to be well understood.

If I ask my children if they like the piano and music, they say yes. I took them to a musical instrument shop and when they sat at the piano to play a few notes on real pianos, they made a face that said it all, in my opinion. I am convinced that they love music, as do their father, for that matter.

We listen to a lot of music at home (from classical to jazz to Led Zeppelin). They are constantly humming little songs and tunes of all kinds, from TV jingles to Zecchino d'Oro to Strauss's Thus Spoke Zarathustra.

However, they are damn indisciplined (and this also applies to schoolwork, where they do very well but without one of the parents shouting in their ears to get a move on, they would spend their days doing something else).

I know, they are children and they need to play, and believe me, they have plenty of time to play. We made the choice not to send them to full-time school precisely to follow them better and to avoid treating them like packages to be shipped left and right.

The problem is that these days the balance between pushing them on one hand and total messing around (excuse my terminology) on the other is very difficult.

Let me explain better: when I was a child, TV started at 5 PM and the programs were incredibly boring. We had time to be bored, and this also gave us the opportunity to truly become passionate about something.

Now, stimuli from society, school, and everything else are infinite and of every kind. For any doubt, we have the Internet (which I am using to write to you). The piano is just one of these things to them. I wish they could gradually understand that it also takes a minimum amount of discipline to achieve results. When I say that I "force" them, it certainly doesn't mean that I lash out at them, but that I have to impose myself a bit too strongly to make them study. The eldest (10 years old) is slowly starting to be a bit more independent and disciplined, but she still needs a few shouts every now and then.

So, it is a very delicate balance. Perhaps I should find a way to turn the piano into a game? Stop spending money to send them to lessons? ... Stop making problems for myself?

The problem is delicate. If I were a child today, I would rightly feel attracted to a thousand stimuli and distracted by many fascinating attractions. It is useless to list them. I believe that never more than today is great motivation necessary to study Music seriously. I say "seriously" because one can also and always approach the great Art with lightness and at a play level. Knowing how to play "a little bit" of an instrument is pleasant and recreational... as long as the time dedicated to learning is not too constricting for the student. There is then a moment when one must have the courage to decide whether to follow a serious course and work towards exams and titles or continue to enjoy oneself as an amateur. One must also be lucky enough to meet a teacher who is prepared both musically and culturally, who has clear didactic ideas and who instills the pleasure of Music.

It has happened to me more than once to have a student who did not even want to do the bare minimum because they felt forced. There have been others who learned with great ease and dedicated their time to Music with pleasure. Sometimes it is better to let things take their course.

When I was a boy, the piano was a great companion; now, as you rightly say, it can be just like anything else. It is true that we must fight to make people understand the differences, but sometimes we are overwhelmed by the voracity of consumerism. In other words, you said it too.

So what to do? You are doing everything possible and you are extraordinary in not letting any opportunity pass to let your children know the greatness of Music. Compliments. This is how Schools, Mass Media, etc., should act.... Consider that the only channel for Music belongs to Sky.... and you have to pay extra!!!!!! Not to mention the Theater!!!!! In short, we keep repeating: "A shame"... but many mobile phones are sold and now, thanks to technology, we talk and write to each other in real time. Today anyone plays "Für Elise" and puts it on YouTube, everyone writes a book sooner or later, and many perform without evaluating what they have to say artistically. There is much confusion and we risk no longer finding the "principles" of things. I heard a contemporary Composer say during a conference that for us it is extremely difficult and almost impossible to know how a Mozart work should be performed. I don't think so. I believe there are fewer and fewer musicians who dedicate themselves to the research and in-depth study that leads to the understanding of those works, that much is true. But seeing the solution or a possible "interpretation" as distant and impossible is sad.

Anyway, too many words. We thank you for bringing to the table a theme that concerns many and that proves to be interesting... you can see that clearly from the replies.

Good luck to your kids and let's hope the spark truly ignites within them.

Ciao Paolo

Hello everyone, my name is Luigi Daniele.

I have been playing the piano for years and despite my age, I continue.

I always find the time even though work absorbs a lot of it.

In addition to playing in public, I set aside time to always study new things on the piano.

I think that children should be left free in their choices.

Precisely, we must allow that spark to strike within them that makes them fall in love with music as with everything else in life.

If they don't feel it inside them, the results are poor and struggling, or at least they are technically valid results but are heartless performances that do not reach the heart of the listener.

I can tell you only one thing: I knew an Architect friend. He had never played; we had been seeing each other for years for work.

One day, while we were together before going to a construction site, I asked him if he had the patience to wait for me a moment, or if he wanted to keep me company.

I had to buy a guitar to give to a little nephew.

He came with me into a nice shop with a great assortment of instruments.

In particular, there were many acoustic and electric guitars.

Mientras I had purchased the guitar, I was at the checkout; turning around, I saw him ecstasy-stroking the neck of a guitar.

Leaving, partly due to haste and partly because we had to go to work, I didn't mention it, but his way of looking at the guitar struck me.

In the evenings, we often went out together as well. But after that evening, every now and then he would stand me up and was mysterious.

He was a friend full of resources and often enjoyed female company; he frequented many female friends.

I thought to myself, maybe he has a girlfriend who this time, finally, has bewitched him........................

In effect, he had been bewitched.

We continued to work together, but with discretion, I avoided asking about his commitments and his secrecy.

However, I always saw him a bit impatient at work. The thing aroused my curiosity, but I asked nothing.

A year or so had passed by then, and I no longer paid attention to it.

I took him for being happily engaged. I expected that from one moment to the next he would introduce her to me....................

I was truly happy for him.

One day we went to present some documentation in an office and among the papers, some music manuscripts slipped away.

Curious, I told him, and he......................

He said nothing, nothing, leave it alone. He told me like a cat that wants to hide its needs................

Busy with work commitments, I said nothing; in fact, I forgot about it.

I went home and was at the piano...........I remembered those manuscripts and thought, but tomorrow I must ask Biagio, I must ask him why he hid them.

Were they perhaps his girlfriend's?

The next morning I went to work with the intention of satisfying my curiosity.

He said to me, well, since you caught me, then come to my house tonight, I have to show you something. (I thought, here it is, now he introduces his girlfriend).

I went to his house in the evening. There was no one; it was just us. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that in the studio there was a classical guitar, a wonderful guitar, and a music stand. I thought, it must be his girlfriend's.............maybe when she comes to him, he lets her listen to something.

I didn't ask; he very cordially offered me an aperitif, or rather no, a beer, yes, yes.

After a while he said, now I'll show you, but don't criticize me, I am still a beginner...............

But..............but what?

He moved towards the studio and motioned for me to come. I followed him; he walked towards the guitar and said to me, do you like it? Of course it's beautiful, but why do you keep it here?

It was a moment; after taking it in his hands, he began to play it.

I was left speechless.

But you never told me anything.

Then he confided in me that since we entered that shop, he had fallen in love with the instrument; he had started taking guitar lessons and was seriously thinking about an artistic path. I was left speechless; his hand on the instrument was already quite evolved.

In a short time, he abandoned his profession and enrolled in the conservatory at an advanced age.

Every now and then we played together; he was making progress.

Today we play every now and then, between one commitment and another; he has become an excellent jazz guitarist. He has a school with many students.

By profession today, he lives off the guitar and music.

He abandoned his profession as an architect; oh, I forgot, he also married a cellist.

So let the seed of music slip into the hearts of people.

Every coercive or inductive act, if not accompanied by passion, generates nothing constructive.

Forgive me if I have been long-winded, but it is my experience in this matter that always moves me.

A hug, Luigi Daniele

Welcome Luigi Daniele ...

... You're not truly screwed as long as you have a good story and someone to tell it to. (Danny Boodman T.D. Lemon Novecento)

Welcome !!

Frank wrote:

... You're not truly fooled as long as you have a good story set aside and someone to tell it to. (Danny Boodman T.D. Lemon Novecento)

I quote !!

Biopresto, stop your understandable shouting every now and then, always be affectionate with your children; rather than listening to music at home, take your children to some concerts, to listen to live music, for example chamber music concerts, and let their magic conquer them, making them passionate about studying music.

I thank everyone for the comments and stories, which I understand and appreciate.

However, I believe that in all these comments there is a certain dose of romantic idealism regarding music, and that focus is only placed on positive cases.

We are not all born artists, but I believe we all have the right/duty to a musical education, not necessarily to become musicians, but to be more complete people, because music is good for the mind when played and listened to at all levels.

Just as not everyone becomes a writer, but we must study Leopardi or Manzoni to grow and mature, in the same way I believe that a musical education, even if slightly forced as in my case, is important. Compulsory schooling is extremely lacking in this regard, and I compensate privately.

I have noticed that by insisting gradually, the shouting becomes increasingly rare, and as children mature and see results, they play with less resistance.

For my part, I know many musicians who still thank their parents for having forced them to study: in particular, one of these friends studied piano more or less under parental compulsion; growing up, he became passionate about the saxophone and graduated, but recognizes that he did this with ease and with the musicality that his youthful piano studies gave him.

I am continuing on this path, trying to moderate coercion, working more on positive reinforcement than on negative ones.

In the meantime, I have changed teachers because I believe the previous one was not particularly motivated, transmitting this lack of motivation to the students. The new teacher is a family friend who manages to be simultaneously sweet and strict.

I will update you on the evolution of things. For now, I am not giving up!