I wrote this myself!

It's Not My Fault!

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myhobbyispiano

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Opening post by myhobbyispiano

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Dear Simone, I told you that I wouldn't upload any more videos unless they were at least decent, but you come to "tease" me, as they say in our parts. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

One cold February morning, I started playing with my piano keyboard and came up with this little "thing".

Afterward, I asked my teacher to give me a hand in writing it since I had never done anything like this before, but even before we met again, I discovered Finale Notepad 2008, which I also used to write down the sheet music. It was an enormous joy, but I succeeded for 2 reasons:

1) The piece is truly elementary;

2) With the software, I can listen to what I put on the staff and verify that it is the same as what I thought.

Without software, I wouldn't have been able to understand if what I was writing was correct.

Naturally, it is just a game, a tiny trifle without any pretensions, but since there is this beautiful idea of posting something thought up by us, I'll take the opportunity.

Thank you guys for these opportunities.

The piece is called "Valzerino".

Hello everyone. ( Don't throw tomatoes, you'll get my monitor dirty ๐Ÿ˜† )

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Reply 2 by giovannip

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You're not exactly Chopin, but either way I appreciate the goodwill and the courage to let us hear something of yours; who knows how many little pieces have been left inside a drawer without having the courage to let them be heard..

Bravo! Myhobbyispiano ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

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Reply 3 by myhobbyispiano

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Giovanni wrote:

You're not quite Chopin, but regardless, I appreciate the goodwill and the courage to let us hear something of yours; who knows how many small pieces have been left inside a drawer because one didn't have the courage to let them be heard..

Bravo! Myhobbyispiano ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

In any case, thank you for the attention and your kind comment.

After all, if we don't show where we truly are, how can we hope that others can help us improve?

There is something else of mine, but it dates back about 32 years ago. I have forgotten many things, a couple of pieces remain. Perhaps in some other post I will post one.

Thanks again and bye Giovanni.

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Reply 4 by Thesimon

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But what do you mean by that? Of course I'm coming to tickle you!! The idea was Frank's (give unto Caesar what is Caesar's), it seemed very good to me and I put it into practice immediately; I'm glad there are already benefits!

Bravo! Keep posting!

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Reply 5 by Gorino

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I like it.

The melody wouldn't look out of place in some film (a French one comes to mind).

It is played in a somewhat "naรฏve" way, but I find that often, small imperfections give the piece a particular life.

Well, I wouldn't call it a tiny nonsense.

Einaudi, poor guy, should work for days to find such a fresh little melody.

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Reply 6 by myhobbyispiano

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TheSimon wrote:

But what do you mean by that? Of course I'll come and tickle you!! The idea was Frank's (give unto Caesar what is Caesar's), it seemed very good to me and I put it into practice immediately; I'm glad there are already benefits involved!

Bravo! Keep posting!

And so thanks also to Frank, let's hope to hear more original music soon.........

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Reply 7 by myhobbyispiano

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Gorino wrote:

I like it.

The melody wouldn't look out of place in some film (French comes to mind).

It is played in a somewhat "naรฏve" way, but I find that often, small imperfections give the piece a particular life.

Well, I wouldn't call it a tiny nonsense.

Einaudi, poor guy, should work for days to find such a fresh little melody.

Your comment is truly generous; I love French music, but there is so much Chopin influence (as Giovanni had noted) that it has been constantly in my head lately.

Ciao.

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Reply 8 by AleGozzo

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Well, but it's not bad!

there is a good melodic taste, perhaps not very current but very enjoyable ๐Ÿ˜‰

perhaps one aspect to work on would be the monotony of the accompaniment, also harmonically,

and also stretching it out a bit more, possibly inserting a contrasting part B, or at least a "special".

ciao

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Reply 9 by AbateFaria

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I agree with Ale Gozzo's opinion, I wouldn't get so discouraged... on the contrary, the next workshop could be an incentive for you.

I also suffer a bit from the same texture throughout the entire piece, but the melodic vein is there... if you pass along the score, we could be more precise.

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Reply 10 by myhobbyispiano

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If anyone is interested, you can find the score of the "Valzerino" here.

http://www.pianoconcerto.it/forum/uploads/images/pianoconcerto_1332591798__valzerino-0.jpg

http://www.pianoconcerto.it/forum/uploads/images/pianoconcerto_1332591859__valzerino-1.jpg

http://www.pianoconcerto.it/forum/uploads/images/pianoconcerto_1332591878__valzerino-2.jpg

Hello everyone. ( Corrections are very welcome, it is my first score ).

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Reply 11 by Talentuoso

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One should always distinguish between ideas and means (technique) in order to be able to express them; technique can be learned, but you must have the ideas and no one can give them to you...

Your piece demonstrates that you have ideas; the suggestion is to delve deeper into the subject in order to improve on the technical aspects that allow you to give even more strength to your arguments.

I have just downloaded the score, as soon as I have a moment I will take a look at it.

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Reply 12 by Talentuoso

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I took a look at it; as I imagined, it essentially plays on only 3 chords (a-/e ; d- ; e+ ; ) throughout the entire piece except for very rare exceptions (one C+ and one G+)

- Harmonically a bit poor

- Melodically the three ideas are nice (the ideas), but used always in the same register and always the same... the piano has various possibilities ๐Ÿ˜‰

- Rhythmically it has good variety, but the accompaniment becomes alienating after a while

- It lacks a bit of rhetoric; that is, even if you wanted to repeat the first 20 bars (like a chorus), it creates expectation, makes one "crave" that reprise.

I repeat my opinion: the same ideas led in a different way would have certainly made this piece something more engaging for the listener and I'll tell you more, the first twenty bars, despite the harmonic poverty, result pleasant to listen to precisely because of the management of the melody (already appreciated by others); after that, something must necessarily happen.

You will see that by following the workshops you will receive a lot of ideas and above all, before looking at the solutions, try it... because it's one thing to see a beautiful, finished score (as you can do with composed works), and another thing is to build it yourself and understand what is not working.

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Reply 13 by diapasuono

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Very nice! It's a pity about the monotony of the bass, which could be enriched and revised. Taken as a starting point, something interesting could come out of it. Well done! Anyway.

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Reply 14 by AleGozzo

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I fully share the analysis of talented !

so the immediate problems are essentially 2: writing that is not very pianistic; difficulty in inserting ideas into an adequate formal structure (sparse harmony is not necessarily a problem, although knowing how to manage more complex harmonies will allow you to make a great leap....)

these are not issues that can be resolved overnight, it requires study, but in the meantime you could start by reviewing the bass line, giving more variety to the actual bass, but also varying the inner notes, which here are always 2 and in close position. (and remember that the bass can easily change register or be doubled at the octave when needed, to give strength to a salient point)

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Reply 15 by myhobbyispiano

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Guys thanks, thanks really. I couldn't even imagine there was so much participation.

The only problem is that I cannot take advantage of many of your tips, because I have no knowledge of harmony, melody and composition. One of the few things I had noticed, but only by instinct, is that the piece seems to start by offering who knows what and then gets lost (as @Talentuoso rightly points out). It's just that I threw it down in an hour, an hour and a half, and I haven't picked it up again. Then I only wrote the score.

Anyway you are fantastic, when I know a little more, your tips will be truly precious.

Thanks again.

Myhobbyispiano.

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Reply 16 by Dilettante

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I'll just throw it out there, since one of the ideas is E D# E... and the bass has an E root... why not use this flourish to create a call and response.

I played it yesterday and it could work, a simple modification ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Reply 17 by myhobbyispiano

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I don't know what a flourish is, forgive me. Could you explain it to me or point me to where I can find documentation?

And anyway, thanks for the advice..... ๐Ÿ™‚

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Reply 18 by Dilettante

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myhobbyispiano wrote:

I don't know what a fioritura is, forgive me. Could you explain it to me or point me to where I can find documentation?

And anyway, thanks for the advice..... ๐Ÿ™‚

My D# E mi ๐Ÿ˜‰ is practically a mordent, D# is a turn note, in short... go "flourish" the E note.

Since the bass is abundant with E notes, in some places you can use this trick in the bass as well and give more strength to the idea....maybe playing around with it in the "chorus"

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Reply 19 by CromaDiBrera

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For me, the biggest flaw is that the melody suggests V chords where there are none (i.e., with the left hand remaining on the tonic chord).

Composing is a lot of fun, but I would at least tackle the first few chapters of Piston (among the most agile and less academic texts) which would allow you to have much more fun ๐Ÿ˜‰

I wouldn't want to be mean (but constructive and encouraging): taste or musicality aside, there are (major) fundamental deficiencies that would be a shame not to fill.

Anyway, if you study piano, sooner or later you will have to do some harmonic and formal analysis...

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Reply 20 by Ludovica

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There is work to be done, but the melodic fragments combined this way leave something... it would be a shame not to delve a bit deeper into composition.

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