The end of this book
http://www.pianoconc...tonio-bonacchi/
It made me want to laugh a little.
In the meantime, I am reporting the jokes contained in the text
Let's laugh about it
Many of these jokes come from: Instrument Jokes, I copied them from the website
of my friend Andrea Conti, www.andreaconti.com
They are delightful, even those about other instruments, besides the violin, about singers and conductors.
Some are truly mean, though... They are just jokes. Jokes! I am reposting them. From somewhere
there is also some of my own, but it's trivial stuff.
Glossary of musical terms
alterations: wrong notes.
- battere (downbeat): what music students do to one another with their instruments.
The downbeat hits you on the head and the upbeat hits you under the chin.
[...]
Harp
What does a harp have in common with elderly parents?
Both are unforgiving and are difficult to get in and out of the car.
[...]
Soprano
What is an alto? A soprano who reads at sight.
What is the difference between a soprano and a piranha? The lipstick.
Between a soprano and a cobra? The former is poisonous, the latter is a reptile.
Between a soprano and a pit bull? The jewelry.
Between a soprano and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.
[...]
Viola
... If there is one thing violists hate more than second position, it's fourth!
Advertisement: selling 19th-century German viola in excellent condition, recently tuned.
String quartet started, looking for two violinists and a cellist.
Why is it called "Bratsche" in Germany? Because that's the sound it makes when you sit on it.
How would you define someone who plays the viola? A violator!
[...]
Violin
What is the difference between a violin and a viola?
None. The violin looks smaller because the violinist's head is larger.
What is the difference between a violinist and a dog? A dog knows when to stop scratching.
[...]
Cello
How do you make a cello sound good? Sell it and buy yourself a violin.