Hi everyone, I am very new to the forum, I hope to learn a lot here and for this reason I am proposing one of my first compositions.
It was conceived as a song, a track for my band so also accompanied by guitar, drums and bass, but played on the piano it sounds so good that I decided to record it in order to then, obviously, ask for your opinion regarding my flaws, and (maybe) merits...
I should preface that I know very little about composition and rules; I studied melodic and harmonic scales a long time ago, discovered the circle of fifths on my own only to later find out it was a well-known rule of music, and I admit to having tried to understand how modulation and counterpoint work with poor results (self-taught).
What do you think goes wrong or right in this composition? What should I improve?
Without a doubt, you will be able to give me a hand
Some harmonic connections are a bit sudden (especially in the first section), it needs a bit more cleaning up with the pedal and a bit more dynamic variety. I like the idea of a contrasting second section and how you developed it. Another good thing is that there is rhythmic variety and you make use of the instrument's range.
Just a bit tiring between 4:30'' and 5', in my opinion, you dwell too much on that idea; although beautiful, it could have led to a less abrupt and more elaborate closing.
Well done, you have ideas (and musical ones at that), so don't give up
Thank you for the quick response, actually the ending is not yet definitive because I wanted to add a small sung part from 4:30 onwards, although I still need to be enlightened regarding the vocal track.
Forgive my ignorance, but what do you mean by dynamic variety?
Thank you very much and bye
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Dante
Member
Reply 4 by Dante
Posts
275
Dynamics="Volume"
Anyway, I also had the same impressions as Abate. So let's wait for the last version.
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Videoclip
Member
Reply 5 by Videoclip
Posts
140
Apart from what has already been reported by other users, for me it is "exploitable" as music for images.
It was conceived as a "reflective" piece to close the album.
The genre of the album is progressive, but this track was something else entirely, so I didn't let myself be too influenced, while still trying to fill the track with ideas and abrupt changes with odd time signatures like those we have in prog (I hope I'm right, otherwise I completely misunderstood my approach to this genre); therefore, I had no problem respecting an initial 4/4 time signature but fully exploiting the ideas that came to mind...
I would like to be able to give you the final version with drums, guitar, and bass included, but it is not ready yet; as soon as it is, I will post it immediately.
One last thing, do you think by adding more "dynamics" and trying to improve the harmonic connections, I would lose the little substance that makes this piece "prog"? And... does this piece, even though it is reflective, have a prog feel? (because if it doesn't even have that, then I need to do better with my next compositions)
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peppe
Member
Reply 7 by peppe
Posts
5
It is difficult to say if it has the appearance of a progressive piece without a worthy arrangement. It seems to me that there are good ideas, but sometimes the sense of time is lost and at times I find it a bit repetitive.
In my opinion, abrupt changes are fine. What's missing is a clearly recognizable theme that reappears 2 or 3 times within the song and then, but perhaps because the drums are missing, there is a bit of a lack of sense of time (as Peppe used to say): when you use time signatures other than 4/4, you have to make the accents feel strong.
Look, the piece you published isn't bad; I had already listened to it some time after you posted it, but I hadn't had the chance to comment on it, especially because I didn't feel up to it during that period. I don't always feel like commenting; listening requires concentration and attention, and I wasn't able to muster those two faculties, which is almost a habit for me (and not a good thing).
You played the piece quite cleanly; I like some of the ideas which, as mentioned, have a certain effect when played on the piano, but the piece was conceived to be performed by other instruments; one would need to imagine it differently and, above all, know which parts are played by which instruments to make a comparison.
I don't dislike how you structured it, I mean it seriously; I might seem a bit closed-minded, but it doesn't hurt me to listen to things written by others; on the contrary, it is a stimulus and is even good for me.
I do feel like revisiting something that rstrauss wrote in another post: "Our personal style eventually comes out; we have demonstrated this in our workshops, where despite the years passed, the pieces being very different from each other, the different instrumentations etc., more than a few people have begun to recognize the style of this or that composer."
I obviously agree, although (I think it is somewhat implicit, at least in part) I would like to add that the "style" that emerges is strictly related to personality, which in turn is linked to life experience and encompasses character and temperament. I am not saying anything new, but it is impossible to disregard these factors; I have been saying this for years, and not to create an alibi—it is just how it is and it could not be otherwise.
