I quite agree with you (Bianca), but also with Videoclip who used some phrases that I find very apt.
What I like, however, is the detachment from what is known and given as an indispensable means, and striving a bit to understand exactly what lies behind it, which can be nothingness or a profound unease (as happens to me, for example).
If I start from my "historical" path—it's true that I am certainly not someone who studied 300 hours a day for years (I would say an hour every few months, and before anyone starts turning up their nose thinking these are the usual statements implying some kind of grandiosity, which absolutely does not exist; on the contrary, I am so critical that I am almost never satisfied, and those who believe too much in what they do, even if they don't produce masterpieces, say it constantly and are convinced despite various opinions they should take into account)—or has had the opportunity to follow lessons consistently for a reasonable period; on the contrary, it has always been fragmented and continues to be so, and if heavy problems from long ago are added to this, it is not just a matter of ability or lack thereof (which probably, seeing as I am 37, I will never know how much I could have developed or not, since I don't have all this mental flexibility), but a matter of peace, serenity, factors that significantly condition the approach to study and its "derivatives."
With this friend yesterday we were also talking about possible cognitive problems: until a certain age (he is now about 40, and he was telling me about when he was in high school, and up to a few years later) he had incredible mnemonic support; he had such a fine capacity to memorize what he heard that he understood lessons without any problem, and he was often encouraged to help those who fell behind (it could have very well been me, but we didn't go to school together); now he has had a sort of switch and his memory has gone, and I am like him, except I have been this way since I was little.
I remember that I couldn't memorize what I studied, and it is still the same thing today.
Try reading a text (for example, on counterpoint, as I did some time ago—reading, not exactly studying, because studying means dwelling on every specific point that hasn't been well understood, and doing exercises to put into practice what has been read or studied) and forgetting after a few seconds, not minutes, what you have read, even if it is half a page; it's absurd, isn't it?
This is why I speak of cognitive problems, which go beyond issues related to unease and other factors.
What saddens me is noticing (in every context) a lot of coldness from this point of view; the only ones (for example) who didn't face the guillotine and said "I don't give a C***" (said literally, but obviously terms are used to avoid it) were Frank and CromaDiBrera, with whom I also communicate via email. In short, if one is not yet aware of something, and at the same time has certain difficulties, I don't think one can speak of a person living serenely for whom everything they think, say, and do must be absolutely dissociated from their personality; it doesn't work like that (for me, and I specify that this is not an excuse, because I myself know well that I am currently limited; this doesn't mean I don't want to improve—maybe I will never succeed because I am deficient, I just can't get there—but it is hard to know when starting a bit late, and not serenely, so my being sometimes "aggressive," for those who have asked (only for a few seconds, I can understand this), depends on very serious reasons, and not from arrogance and confidence; I leave that to those who, indeed, have had a different path without too many hitches, perhaps facilitated and stimulated, and there one can certainly speak of true arrogance, moreover unjustified (if we really want to use that term), because it is a bit paradoxical to see a person doing what (perhaps) they like, which is moreover their job, getting angry and responding with extreme confidence; even there, one needs a sense of limits.
I'll give you one last example regarding consistency: a few days ago I sent some scores for harpsichord/piano to two harpsichordists; the first is an interpreter, the second has also studied composition:
something strange happened (not because of what didn't happen, but because of the manner in which it occurred, which I won't explain now); in short, the first would record them with pleasure, the second flatly refused, giving an excuse that (I understood) seemed to me very, too rigorous, and concerns her specifically as a person, and not "solely" consistency.
Regarding Bianca's piece, for me it is not inconsistent; everyone feels things in their own way; I hypothesize that the central part, performed at that speed, without control over the agogics, on the"}
dynamics, "worst" the perception of those who "heard" the piece that way; however, it didn't have this effect on me, and I see a design in it that is at least minimally reasoned; I am saying this today but I thought it yesterday, so I am not flattering you or getting confused. In fact, the way you did it, I would even see it as more "stretched out," by elaborating it further, because it gives the sensation that it ends too soon.